Today was a beautiful day here in Seattle. It was ass clenching cold but crystal clear and sunny. Not one cloud in the sky. You could see every mountain range from peak to promontory. During my morning commute, I take a few back roads to get to work and those roads wind me through huge evergreens and dense brush. Everywhere I look it's a brillaint mixture of every shade of green. I really enjoy this part of my drive. It's peaceful, inspiring and reminds me what an artist Mother Nature truly is. I cracked my window. The air was crisp, cold and smelled faintly of wood burning fireplaces. I sneezed. Who knew I was allergic to fresh air. I rolled up my window. It was then the forest seemed to close in all around me. The giant trees stepped closer to the road. The bushes and ferns creeping out from around there trunks. It became eerily dark as the trees stretched out there arms and blocked the light. Something didn't feel right. The hair on the back of my neck stoood up and goosebumps rose on my skin. A shiver crept up my spine as from out of the woods there stepped a lone figure. It was a damn Eskimo. I swear the forest is crawling with them. I swerved and narrowly avoided missing him. I glanced in my rearview mirror and I could see him through the forest mist...standing there... looking at me. I shivered again and realized that my goosebumps were nothing more than a herpes outbreak. Those Eskimos scare me. They're up to no good. Like evil little leprechauns, they lurk in the forest waiting to suprise there next victim and drag them back to their igloo. Maybe it's our fault they club us like baby seals. Afterall we did steal their land and made them move to Canada. I mean Canada of all fucking places. What torture. What cruelty. I almost feel sorry for those figures in the shadows... those gorillas... in the mist....

I love gorillas. They are cute and cuddly and make me want to pick fleas off my friends. I'm good like that.

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